TELL THE INTEGRITY COMMISSION TO KISS OUR ASS

Lucian Politicians and Professionals Can Give the Integrity Commission The Finger With No Consequences

This article and several to follow will detonate like Aime Cesar and Martin Carter poems. It will fuck many powerful people up the ass in a righteous way. I promise.

But the introduction is kinda weird. Just keep reading. You trust me, don’t you? If you don’t, then you don’t belong here.

THE PRAYER BOMB

I don’t have many good memories of marriage. Or at least, the good ones are drowned out by the bad ones. All my good memories are of my children.

Except The Random Prayer Bombers.

My wife and I created a futuristic bunch of Mama l’Eglise, based on my mother, my Aunty Martha and their Seventh Day Adventist prayer group. The real prayer group had some special techniques. They would pray for the crime-ridden city of Castries street by street, every lunch time, for days, maybe weeks, until they had covered every street in Central Castries and Marchand. They prayed with laser-tight focus.

The Random Prayer Bombers were like them, except taken to an extreme. Random Prayer Bombers would ambush sinners with holy water in the street, surround young girls in poompoom shorts and pray for their stupid asses and lay in wait in the shadows for robbers to pass by so that they could jump them and anoint them with olive oil.

One day, I’m actually going to find time to write that.

In the meantime, I’m building an integrity bomb in real life. And the people who should be reporting to the Integrity Commission of St Lucia are helping a whole lot.

They are making it really easy to blow some of them away.

THE BETRAYAL OF DEMOCRACY: A LOVE STORY GONE WRONG

We don’t have many good memories of the marriage of leadership and the people in our democracy.

This marriage has screwed up the lives of generations of children in St Lucia. The Integrity Commission was set up by the Kenny Anthony government to ensure that politicians would report all their earnings to the people while they were in office.

The IC was supposed to usher in an entirely new era in St Lucian politics where it was practically impossible to get away with corruption. It was supposed to make the abusive marriage between government and the people more honest.

It all sounded so good at the time.

Of course, it all went horribly, horribly wrong.

Otherwise, how the hell would we have gotten into this situation? How the hell did waste and corruption become one of the top three biggest bills to the government and people of St Lucia, in the era of the Integrity Commission. Only the national food bill and the national energy bill are higher. How did decent hardworking Negmarron end up in this African republic bullshit?

I’ll tell you how. And why.

It’s because this marriage sucks, that’s how. No, wait, that’s why. Here’s how:

When Kenny Anthony’s Labour bowled out Flambeau in 1997, the new husband of Lucian democracy promised that everything would be different. He promised no more abuse, no more stealing money from the family account to buy crack or cars or whatever, no more nonsense. He got down on his knees, told Helen that she was special and deserved better than what anyone gave her.

We all know how that turned out. Within two and a half years, we had Rochamel and by 2006, cost overruns had turned the decimated, disorganized fools of Flambeau into a fiefdom of Forty Feeves. I mean, into a team of political winners.

Of course, that turned out even worse. So we went back to Labour. Of course, that is turning out even worse.

I’m depending on you to at least begin to see a pattern here.

Perhaps we need to go a little deeper. Don’t worry, I’l keep it simple. Real simple.

It’s safer to simply not report to the Integrity Commission than to report, even if you are not a corrupt politician.

There it is. That’s it. You don’t even have to read any further. But I have nothing better to do, at this ungodly hour so I’m gonna write some more.

You see, the way Kenny and Lab-Flam set up the vibe, if you, as a clean politician submit your personal financial information to the Integrity Commission and they find some glitch or error, you could face a penalty for misreporting.

And you’re innocent, eh….

But if you, as a corrupt politician simply do not submit anything to the Integrity Commission, if you give them the finger and spit on their worthless authority, showing them that you know them for the worms that they are….

Nothing for that.

No penalty.

No jail. No firing. No expulsion.

Nothing.

Party on, dudes.

Over the next few posts, I will be naming names and giving the culprits and the suspects a shot at clearing their name.

If they don’t, you know how I roll.

You saw what happened to Rufus, right? That’s right.

Funny enough, some of the names on the list of people who totally failed the Integrity Commission’s test recently are some of the same names of the people who are suspects in the recent wrongful shut down of St Lucia’s most beloved/reviled blog.

Suspects, mind you. We haven’t convicted them yet.

However, in the relentless pursuit of the perfection of pawol jettay, DIS FLOGG will now name one name.

Just one name.

Who totally failed the Integrity Commission’s test.

One name.

Who will be a target of the Integrity Bomb.

We have him locked.

Just waiting to enter the launch codes.

Are you ready, Louis Lewis?

I know you’re not afraid. I don’t have enough money to scare you. All I have is some numbers and words, colliding with each other in the nuclear core of my brain.

Nothing to be afraid of at all.

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